Freshman

Nang iminulat ni Chito ang kanyang mumunting mga mata, naramdaman niyang napupuno ito ng tubig. Hindi pala. Puno ito ng tubig at lumulutang-lutang ang itim sa kanyang mata na nagmistulang mga bolang ipinalaot sa tubig. Hindi maalat ag tubig. At may iba pang mga bagay na kasama niyang lumalangoy.

 Hindi siya gaano makagalaw dahil nakatali ang kanyang pusod na parang dulo ng pising nakapulupot sa lobong nanlalabang makalipad. Makaalis.

 Sa isang buong minuto, makikilala niya ang tao. Makikita niya na bawat daliri nito ay may sari-sariling kurbada — iba’t-ibang direksyon — walang isang hugis. Maraming tao, hayop, bagay at lugar ang lumalangoy kasama niya. Naroon ang paboritong kulay ng kanyang ina, ang ungol ni Bantay, ang pagkiskis ng tisa sa pisara, ang tindahan sa tapat ng bahay, at ang kalabog ng pintong isinasara.

Untitled by chance

 The girl wanted to die in the passenger seat with her Mom driving their black Toyota off the God-forsaken, sweet cliff. She believes this selfish (or is it selfless?) act would bind them together irrevocably till the end of time.

Knowing they could die anytime, she fumbled for her seatbelt. She needed to make sure that this wouldn’t seem like a suicide pact when the cops find their mutilated bodies. No one knew how long she had wanted this. For as long as she can remember, she had always been sure of how she wanted to die.

All her life it had been her mother who only loved her. It was this woman who painted her a picture of the world she no longer wanted to see in a matter of years. Who would want to see it quiver and die?

At a very tender age, she pleaded desperately for life to end in a moment she still has control of. After taking her last breath, she thought of her half baby brother who shrieked with glee while sitting on his father’s lap.

Carelessly and quite suddenly, she dove in head first into the windshield.

Mr. Arnold MacLeish_Quoted

While I was killing time working as part of the secretariat during our event, I found an astronaut in a glass case. A real replica of a moon man. And written above him (it) was this:

 " To see the earth as it truly is, small and blue and beautiful in that eternal silence where it floats is to see ourselves as riders on the earth together, brothers on that bright loveliness in the eternal cold — brothers who know now they are truly brothers."

 It may sound like one of those quotes that make you warm and fuzzy, but I think it brings more than the giddiness. It tells you that man is never alone. The world will always grow more weary by the day, but that doesn’t stop anyone from finding strength in the person beside him.

Blabbering Quietly

I am here — technically not working. Well, maybe working. Still. Because I am paid for this after all. But then, it doesn’t really feel like work at all. Or maybe, this is really how work feels like or is supposed to feel like. It’s just that I am not comfortable with having to sit here and simply wait. You see, in this kind of work, there isn’t always much to do. It’s almost similar to what I do downstairs.

 Here, people come and go. They would sometimes stop and ask questions. You point them to this and that — give directions — and smile like you mean it. You greet them and ask for their names. You struggle to hear at their weird-sounding names. It’s hard to believe there can be syllables such as those in their names.

 I am part of the secretariat. While the participants are discussing things that can change the world, I am here outside, sitting in a chair, typing away my random thoughts. Fighting the urge to make fun of myself just to kill boredom. Waiting for time to pass by. I would rather not have conversations with people I don’t know. I would rather have my own time spent writing and thinking.

 You see, I don’t have much time to think so when I write, I always find time to think and my thoughts no longer come out in spurts. They flow freely, although they may not always fill up congruent spaces in my paragraphs. Still. They come out naturally.

A year from now, I’ll be going back to school. I want to take up Marketing Communications. I would also like to come up with my own business. Little by little, I begin to realize how corporate slavery just might kill me. So there. Although I still haven’t got enough money as starting capital, I still include that in my list of to-do’s in the long run. I am waiting for the money I’ll be getting from my scholarship during my senior year. With that, I can finish one year (I hope) of my graduate study. Then, I’d like to work in an ad agency.

 For now, I am still here in Events. Momentarily stuck until I learn the value of tenure, I guess. But I know I will get my dream job as soon as I get my diploma. Or better yet, as soon as I get a call-back from those agencies I’ve sent out applications to. When they do, I won’t be stuck here in a chair, waiting for the participants to arrive. I will be in a comfortable room where I will be brainstorming with some of the country’s best copywriters. I will come up with all kinds of ads that work — not only sell. I will write clever copies and conceptualize ads. I will also write a novel. And if I have enough material, then I will write a memoir as well.

I will see the world and travel at least once a year. I will take a trip to a different place every year. I will meet strangers and live in places I have never set foot in. I will take my life and have it embrace the world from end to end. I will always focus on the solution and remember that what doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger. I will also stop and end this here.